Reaching for Dreams

I'm a dreamer. My mind is always full of goals I want to reach, things I need to do, places I want to go. I have a journal and the first 3 pages are lists of goals and dreams I hope to reach. Some of them are probably impossible dreams - like winning the Nobel Peace Prize. But, I have dreams of riding on a gondola through the streets of Venice, going to the top of  the Eiffel Tower, seeing Scotland, riding in a one horse open sleigh through the snow, and so many more. Some of my goals I have already been able to cross off.

One of my dreams was going to Disney World. I can remember it was just 12 years ago. We were so excited. We were there standing in line before they even opened and we were probably the last people to walk out of those gates that night. I had to see it all. I was about to burst. I finally got to see Mickey Mouse. A few years later the Lord allowed us to work at Tabernacle Baptist Church in Orlando. Me and Mickey Mouse were neighbors. At least that is what I told our grand kids.

I still have so many dreams for our future. Right now they are small dreams. They are not as huge as some of my other dreams, but they are dreams that are right here in our reach. We dream of one day Jerry feeling good again and being able just to enjoy each day of our life. We dream of seeing grand kids grow up - attending their graduations and weddings. Being there to see great grand kids born into our family. We dream of going to church together again.

We dream of going to San Antonio to visit our youngest son and seeing the Alamo again and going on the River Walk. We dream of getting to go to Cincinnati to see two of our sons  and their kids and eating Cincinnati Chili at Skyline or Gold Star. We dream of staying in the cabin in Sebree, Kentucky (our home away from home). It belongs to great friends of ours, the Taillons. We always stay there when we go home to visit our family. We dream of seeing family and friends again. We dream of seeing my dad again. He's 88 years old. I just want to sit in his living room and listen to his stories and go out to eat with him and just love him. 

And I dream of  me and Jerry going  to Newburgh, Indiana. It's one of our favorite places. It is where we grew up together. It's a little river town and we're going to walk all through the town holding hands and watching the barges go down the river and go to the overlook and the Newburgh Country Store.

I really believe these dreams are near in our future.

Yesterday at the clinic they did a peripheral blood smear. We will not know the results until Friday or Monday. It will tell us how much of Jerry's blood cells belong to his brother, Bob, and how many are Jerry's and if there are any leukemia blasts. They told us not to worry. Then when Jerry has recovered a little bit more, they will do another bone marrow biopsy. But they were very encouraging. They told us right now there is no indication of the leukemia.

We know we are going to get to share these dreams together. We are excited about the future and what the Lord has planned for us.

In the meantime, we do not have to go to the clinic today. We get the day off. We're going to be lazy like an old retired couple.

We love you and thank you so much for your prayers and love.



Me and Mickey





Newburgh Country Store
Newburgh,Indiana





My Dad, John Knight





The Cabin in Sebree, Kentucky



Encouragement

I John 5:14

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that,

if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

This morning as we headed to the clinic, we felt we needed a little bit of encouragement. Sometimes the days are long and the nights are even longer it seems. Even though we know things are going according to schedule after the transplant, we can still get a little discouraged.

Every day they take Jerry's blood count to see how he is progressing. Today his white blood count was 3.0. We were both so excited!!! His red blood count is also coming up and he is still making platelets. We almost shouted right there in the Clinic. We know it's because of all the prayers.

We love you.

Today we had some wonderful visitors. Pastor Butler and his wife, Jennie, came by for a visit. It was a great time of fellowship and they were a great encouragement to us.

Each day Jerry's strength is coming back and he's starting to get a little of his appetite back. His white count was 2.3 today.  

I can tell he's getting better because he's starting to tease me again. 

We still covet your prayers and appreciate all the cards and love. 

Springtime

I know it's not spring yet, but today leaving the clinic, I saw daffodils popping out of the ground getting ready to bloom. Seeing them made me feel good, because I know spring is coming. It seems like the winter has been long and hard. Spring is always so beautiful with new life and new hope.

Song of Solomon 2:12

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

SPRING

As I looked out the window I saw skies of gray

That overshadowed the long winter’s day.

I yearned for sunshine and winter’s end

And that spring days would soon begin.

For there is hope that comes in spring.

With each new flower and bird that sings.

As earth awakes from it’s winter’s sleep

Full of promises that it must keep.

- Patricia Rice

We are at the apartment now and hopefully each day will get better. Neal came and stayed with us the first night we were home. That was such a great help to us. Jerry still isn't feeling his best and as I said, he is still weak. The great news is that his blood counts are still coming up. His white blood count was 1.8 today.

It's still a very emotional time for us, not knowing what each day is going to bring.

Thank you so much for your prayers. We love you.

Leaving the Hospital

Jerry gets to come home from the hospital to the apartment today. Please be praying. It is a little scary. He is still so frail and weak. He has lost so much weight, his hospital arm bands fell off. Also he is still not eating very well. We're praying that being at the apartment will be more relaxing for him and will help his spirits and his appetite. I'm anxious to see that sparkle in my husband's eyes again.

The last month has been very hard on both of us emotionally. With cancer, it's not just the physical side effects that you have to deal with, the emotional ones can be as painful.

I asked the doctor yesterday, what can I tell people when they ask if the cancer is gone? He said I can tell everyone that the cancer is in remission. He said it is never cured, but hopefully it will stay in remission for a long time and Jerry can have a lot of years left ahead of him. What wonderful words to us.  It's still so hard to believe sometimes. Especially after eight months of the longest, scariest roller coaster ride of our life, we are finally where we have dreamed and prayed about. Where you all have prayed about for us.

We still have a long road ahead of us. The next two months we'll have to go to the transplant clinic every day for a couple of weeks and then as Jerry starts recovering a little bit, it will be less and less until one day we'll get to go back home to Greenville. What a wonderful day that is going to be.

We love you and are so thankful to everyone for all the prayers, the love, and support. And we are so thankful to God for His wonderful love to us.

REJOICING

HOPE - Its' like that elusive butterfly fluttering all around. It's there within your reach, but each time you try to grab hold of it, it slips away from you.

We have hoped for so long. Today they told us as far as they know, right now, today, January 17, 2012, the transplant is working. Jerry's new immune system that his brother donated, is producing new cells. Jerry's white count is up to 1.1 today and the new immune system is producing red blood cells.

We are rejoicing with them in this knowledge and know that you are rejoicing with us.

Psalm 86:12
I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore.

The Best Medicine

Jerry received some good medicine today. Neal came for a visit. It was so great seeing some family. It had gotten a little lonely.

Jerry's mouth is a little better. It still hurts for him to talk sometimes and also for him to eat very much. They still have him on the feeding line. Tomorrow they are going to start weaning him off his feeding line and the pain medicine. Please be praying that he will be able to eat on his own.

But the wonderful news is that Jerry's white cells are still coming up. They were .9 today. And he also made one platelet on his own.  Both of these are good signs. If he can start eating on his own and get around well, they might let me bring him home to the apartment at the end of the week. Please pray toward that for us.

We love you and appreciate the prayers!!



Happy Hour

At the hospital, they have a lady who goes around the floor spreading cheer. Yesterday, she knocked on the door and had a tray of chocolate ice cream shakes in fancy goblets with little umbrellas in them. She said, "It's Happy Hour." She knew Jerry hadn't been able to eat or drink anything and she thought this might work. Poor Jerry. He took one sip and got choked on the shake and it hurt his throat so bad, tears came to his eyes. Happy Hour ended up being Unhappy Hour.

I just wanted to give you a quick update.  Jerry's mouth is a little better, but he is still unable to drink or eat anything. They still have him on the feeding line. So he is getting nutrition. They allowed me to stay with him last night, because he was having such a bad night. He was really wobbly and the pain medicine had made him really confused.

The good news is they believe the transplant is grafting. His white count is starting to come up and his blood made platelets on it's own. The doctor said that we still need to take a day at a time, but that was very encouraging to us.

"Isn't the love of Jesus something wonderful." 

The Lullaby of the Rain

Job 5:10

Who giveth rain upon the earth, and sendeth waters upon the fields:

Psalm 147:8

Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.

The Lullaby of the Rain

The lullaby of the rain

Gently falling all around.

Making music on my roof top,

Oh what a peaceful sound.

With each drip and spatter,

I hear a symphony.

A beautiful mix of notes

All in harmony.

My mind begins to wander

And relaxes with the tune.

And I remember childhood days

And summer days of June.

Days filled with laughter

And dreams I hoped to obtain.

As I sit there quietly listening

To the lullaby of the rain.

-Patricia Rice

Yesterday was probably one of our hardest days.  The doctor has told us for over a week now,  just 2 or 3 more days and Jerry should start feeling better. This had been a long 2 or 3 days. They had to put a feeding line through his port yesterday so that he could get some nutrition. Hopefully that will help. Also he was having trouble breathing because his throat was so swollen from the mucositis. He couldn't swallow or talk. Also, they put him back on steroids to help with the swelling. Please continue praying.

Thankful for the rain as well as the sunshine.

We love you and thank you so much for the prayers.

Running The Race

Hebrews 12:1

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

I have always been encouraged by the story of Glenn Cunningham. Cunningham's legs were very badly burned in a schoolhouse fire when he was eight. When the doctor recommended that they amputate his legs, his parents would not allow it. The doctors said he might never walk again. However, he was so determined, he gained the ability to walk and went on to be a runner. He won medals in the Olympics and also broke many world records.  He never quit. He had a positive attitude and a strong faith in God.

His favorite Bible verse was Isaiah 40:31: "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

We knew the race that we are running would be long and hard sometimes. Jerry is still suffering with the mucositis. It must be very painful. Keep praying that it will heal soon. His blood counts are really low also from the chemo yesterday and they have had to give him transfusions of platelets and blood. He is very weak. But, we have a good God who loves us and we're surrounded by a cloud of witnesses - people of faith who have ran the race before us, that are there cheering us on. Pray that we'll have the faith and endurance to keep running the race.

We were surprised by a couple of masked visitors today – Kermit and Cheryl Watson. They were a great encouragement to us.

Another Head Shaving Party

Jerry's hair started coming out a couple of days ago. So today, he told me he wanted to go ahead and have it shaved off.

He even managed a smile for the camera. It's very uncomfortable when it starts falling out. It gets in his mouth and his eyes. The problem is his head gets cold.

He had another bad day today with the mucositis. The doctor said his mouth and throat were really raw. The doctor said that it should start healing in about 2 to 3 days. They really take good care of him at the hospital.

It's always hard leaving him at night; but, the doctor said that if Jerry's counts start to level off and start to come up, he might be able to come home to the apartment with me by the end of the week. That would be so exciting and also a little scary. 

We know we have so many people praying for us and we know that we have a good God who loves us. 

 And we're not afraid of tomorrow, because we know God is already in it and preparing the way.

We Love You!!

Morning Glory Christian

When I was a little girl outside of our back door there was a trellis. It was covered in these flowers called Morning Glorys. Every morning they would be opened up all bright and beautiful in the early morning sun. But I always noticed that around 10:00 or when the sun would get really hot and the heat of the day would start setting in, that these beautiful flowers would close up. They couldn't stand the heat of the day. Instead of staying open up and beautiful and showing God's beauty, they closed up.

Pray that I won't be a Morning Glory. Pray that God will help me to be strong and not close up even when the days are hard. Pray that I'll always be a good testimony and show God's beauty in my life. And when things are harder than usual that I'll get back to the SON. Not the S-U-N sun, but the S-O-N son, God's son and seek the strength and help I need.

Psalm 28:7

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

Today was one of those hard days. Jerry had a rough time today. He has mucositis. It's caused from the chemo. His mouth and throat are covered in ulcers. He can hardly talk. Also it is very difficult for him to eat or drink. They are talking about putting a feeding line so he can keep his nutrition up. It's a normal thing for chemo patients and transplant patients to get mucositis, but it is very painful. He's been a great patient. He does everything he's suppose to, because he wants to get well.  He has another injection of chemo Monday which will cause the mucositis to get even worse before it gets better.

 Pray that Jerry's mouth will be quick  to heal and pray that the transplant is working.

We love you and thank you for your  cards, prayers, and love.

Hope Makes Dreams Come True

At this point in Jerry's treatment for the transplant working and the AML to go into remission, there are no clear cut signs in Jerry's blood count. Yet there are some encouraging signs - The transplant has not been rejected as yet. They had to give Jerry a transfusion of platelets yesterday, and they seemed to maintain a high level which they said was a good sign. The doctors are still encouraged with Jerry's progress with no problems to date.

We feel full of hope at this time.

Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

Tears came into Jerry's eyes yesterday and he said, "Dare I hope?"

I asked him what he was going to do when he got well. He said the first things he was going to do is to go to church and sit in our pew and wave his hanky and sit there praising God. Then he's going to drive his little red truck, hunt whatever is in season, and spend lots of time with family, friends, and GRANDKIDS!!!

We love you and please continue praying!

Tears of the Broken Hearted

I forgot how sad the 9th floor of Duke University Hospital can be. The other day when I was in the restroom there was a woman in one of the stalls and I could hear her crying. My heart broke for her. I had no way of knowing what she was going through. And then yesterday there was an older man standing in the lobby of the 9th floor wiping tears from his eyes. Even though you  know that their loved ones are getting the treatment they need, it's hard sometimes to watch what they have to go through.

It reminds me of the song "Tears Are a Language God Understands." I'm so glad He sees my tears and gives me comfort and strength when I have times of sorrow.

 Psalm 56:8

"Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?"

Jerry had a good day. He sleeps a lot from all the medicine they have to give him for the nausea ad the headaches. But the doctors say that he is doing well. Please continue to pray that the transplant will work.

Several people have requested the hospital address. It is:

Duke University Hospital

Norris Rice

2301 Erwin Rd.

Room 9202

Durham, NC 27710

The mail that goes to the hospital has to be marked "patient mail."

Our apartment address is:

4225 Larchmont Rd.  #302

Durham, NC 27707

We love you and looking forward to seeing our family and church family again.

Jerry and Patricia Rice

Going Smoothly

Jerry's transplant oncologist, Dr. Chao, came in to see him this morning. He said Jerry was doing great. The nurse practitioner says things are going smooth and that we don't want any excitement now - we just want things to progress smoothly.  We know that it's God answering the prayers of so many faithful people that pray daily for Jerry's healing.

We are probably realistically looking at two more weeks in the hospital in the isolation ward  and after that 2 more months of being an outpatient at the transplant clinic every day.

Jerry is starting to feel a glimmer of hope that this could be the healing that we have been praying toward.

Also I wanted to let you know I am finding my way around Durham. I actually ventured out to Walmart Saturday morning. I put Walmart into my GPS and did what it said and there it was - WALMART. Life is good.

We love you and you'll never know how much we appreciate all the prayers and love.